


Practice Makes Perfect

by ThirstyForEvans (Bibliophilic_Wit)



Series: You're In A Rom-Com With Chris Evans [2]
Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: (with no lasting consequences), Anxiety, Depression, Dissociation, Eating Disorder, F/M, I really tried though I failed nonetheless, Kinda Groundhog Day, Missed Opportunity, No use of y/n, Repeated day, Thanks EvaDean for the inspiration, The Stealth Suit, Trigger warnings listed before chapter, doing it again until you do it right, implied suicide, kinda angsty, no consequences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-10-22 21:29:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17670437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bibliophilic_Wit/pseuds/ThirstyForEvans
Summary: EvaDean requested a Groundhog Day type fic on my "Like Evans?" story so here we are.You're playing the OG Spider-Woman, and it's Chris' last day on set.A bigger power decides you need some assistance to do this day just right. So you repeat the same day until you get it.





	1. Tongue Tied

**Author's Note:**

> No trigger warnings for this chapter.

It’s Chris Evans’ last day on a Marvel set for the foreseeable future, and you don’t pity him. He’s doing random shots of surprisingly forgettable scenes, where they want him to punch the bad guy just slightly to the left or break down that door with a little bit more heel action. It makes for a slightly regretful last day, and to top it off his only company is you. They’re only reshooting for Cap and Spider-Woman today, so everybody else has a blissfully free day. Not that he’s said anything, he’s very nice and polite, but he doesn't have to. He even sat on your table to eat breakfast, swapping stories about theatre days, but he’s been doing this for 8 years and he’s made lifelong friends along the way and despite their warm welcome, you had only met two months ago in a very brief table read that overlapped for 5 minutes.  
The introduction of Spider-Woman in an already very-well established hero-laden world is a bold move, everyone knows that, and most fans won’t even know until they watch the movie. Of course, there’s a tease of your character in the trailer- or so you’ve been told. They had decided to go in a similar line to Spider-Woman’s first Origins, which had her in the same boat as the good Captain. Hence the one scene you had left to shoot, and this being the first time you were available at the same time. The scene was very short, cut off by violence, but the emotion was intense. Loss, anger, fear and frustration all needing to be seen as a believable bond was formed between the two characters.

The table read had gone well, but the dynamic was off due to the multitude of people present as a juxtaposition to the solitude actually required for the scene. The visuals required had you outside, waiting for the sun to start setting as you ran your lines under your breath, for the first time feeling your 27 years was ridiculously little. You run a hand over your face before looking at Chris. _Damn_ , the man really wasn’t helping your concentration, you could only thank the stars that he was very covered by his new stealth suit. That beard, though, it would have been the death of you, and you can’t believe they had him shave it. You sighed at the thought and your brain inevitably whirrs to why he had to shave. But thinking on fan theories will only have you lose what little concentration you have, so you close your eyes and breathe deeply, immersing yourself in your character, feeling her background and emotions run through you as you listen to your playlist that you made to get in her headspace.

You startle as a hand touches your elbow and your eyes fly open to land on Chris Evans’ very amused face. You mostly fail at suppressing a smile and pause the song before tugging an earbud out.  
“Sorry.” You apologise sheepishly.  
“No sweat. They’re giving us another ten minutes and I finally wrapped up that door sequence so I thought we could do a quick run-through if you’re ready.” He explains.  
“I was just getting in the character’s headspace.” You gesture, smilingly, at your playlist. He quickly palms your phone into his hand and steps closer so as to not yank out the earbuds completely. You force your breathing to stay even and make sure to intently listen should he say anything while keeping a mostly unneeded eye on what your phone is displaying. He thumbs through the songs steadily before finding a Led Zeppelin song. You quickly thread the earphones back under your top where you had kept the wires from tangling, and offer him an earbud. He smiles at you and accepts. “This is awesome.” He compliments before playing the song and you smile wide.  
“I wish I had thought of this when I started playing Cap, I really could've used it.” He laughs deprecatingly.  
“Well, it doesn’t show.” You smile and give his shoulder a squeeze before letting your hand drop again. You listen to rest of the song intently and he pauses the next song at its intro before handing you back your phone. “Ready?”  
“Let’s do it.” You nod, putting down your phone and quickly shrugging off the loose cardigan over your suit before taking your mask in hand and securing it over your ears.

The scene requires Cap sitting on a log, with Spider-Woman coming up to him, and taking off her mask before asking if she can join him. He responds in an affirmative and she says Tony Stark sent her before apologising for her late-coming as well as his recent losses. A bitter and hurt Cap lashes back that a mere kid couldn’t understand this type of loss at which she has to put Captain America in his place. You groan at the thought before entering the scene.

You’re worrying your lip so much it’s close to bleeding, and your hair must be a mess from the number of times you’ve run your hand through it. The scene wasn’t gelling right and you could see Chris trying to mask his annoyance, and mostly failing. You zip down your suit to your bellybutton and walk to the clearing not far away, trying to breathe. Now was so not the time to panic. You grip the tree and look into its leaves, breathing slowly. You check on the sun, it’s almost down, so you give yourself a faint clap to the cheek with both hands before walking back and asking Chris if you can try it again. His voice is terse as he reminds you to zip up again, and you clench your jaw- good, this would be a bit easier if he wasn’t so nice. You zip yourself back up, slipping the mask into place again before the yell to action.

This time the scene is perfect, you can both feel it. The chemistry is just right, and the part where he’s cut off by an explosion happens just as the sun sinks completely under the horizon. The director yells cut and you grin at Chris, he gives you a high-five as you head back to check that the director is happy, and you hip-check him slightly. “So, was that your last scene?”  
“Ugh, no” He complains, “I wish, but I have another set of action sequence reshoots to get through. Hopefully won’t take long. Luckily Downey scheduled the party for later. You smile and nod as the directors compliment and congratulate you both. As you both head back to the makeup chairs, he questions, “Was that your last scene?”  
“Of the day, yeah. They’re just going to help me manoeuvre out of this suit. It’s very uncomfortable since I don’t have to wear it often.”  
“Well, it looks great on you.” He says offhandedly before sitting down in the chair and letting them fuss over how much fake blood he needs for the next scene. “Thanks. I’ll see you around, then.” You give a mock-salute and head to the dressing room alongside.

Mary tuts at your hair and you quickly put it up in a bun before she can scold you. You zip down the suit at the front, and she and Alice, her assistant peel back the skin-tight contraption from your torso and arms before you wiggle it down your butt so you can sit down to peel the rest of your legs. They leave you to it, before coming back with suit-bag for the garment and your extra clothes. You quickly put on a sports bra and fresh underwear before slipping into yoga pants and a purposefully too-big and too-long sweater over the top. It’s knitted with thick strands in soft blue and purple colours that intermingle pleasingly. Most importantly, it’s the softest thing you own.  
You head back out so they can remove your makeup, and find Chris already gone. It’s an hour until the party begins, which means it will be two hours before everyone else shows up. You contemplate your options as Mary sets a timer for your face mask and leans back your chair.

You can feel the itch of staying in one place getting to you and ponder your options for shenanigans. You can’t take anyone with you, Holland is too young and the rest probably think you’re too old to want to do silly things like dance in the rain or eat a pint of ice cream on the roof of a car in the desert, just because you can. You’re finally free to go and as you head back to your trailer you hear Rob blasting “I Got You Babe” from his office. You frown and shake your head as you bop along into the night air to your trailer.  
Your bare feet sink into the warm sand and you release your hair.  
You take a piece of cold chicken leftover from yesterday and eat it to appease your stomach momentarily before eyeing a book you’ve read at least 20 times and giving in easily. You push aside thoughts of the party, which sound exhausting, and wandering, which you’re sure to get in trouble for. You put music in your ear and open the book to page one, skimming the introduction and contemplating your annotations on the map before a notification pops up on your phone.

 **Chris Evans** @ _ChrisEvans_

Officially wrapped on Avengers 4. It was an emotional day to say the least. Playing this role over the last 8 years has been an honor. To everyone in front of the camera, behind the camera, and in the audience, thank you for the memories! Eternally grateful.

 

You raise a questioning eyebrow at the tweet before opening your phone, bypassing the obligatory shitstorm that must be happening, you’re not allowed to tweet much of anything anyway- before texting Chris.  
_"They are totally going to think Cap’s died."_   You inform him, three dots immediately pop up before a single word.  
_"Shit"_ and then, _"You’re right, I better call my agent."_

You shake your head gently. _"Don’t sweat, they’ll still love you no matter what- at least Marvel can’t re-cast you now. ;)"_  
He calls you five minutes later, and you quickly bookmark your page before picking up.  
“Hey.”  
“Hi.”  
“Hi.”  
He laughs, “Thanks.”  
“For what?” You frown.  
“For the tweet, I should be able to do some damage control worth something because you caught it.”  
“No biggie, it’s easier since I don’t know what’s happening, that way I don’t have any preconceived notions."  
“Really? They haven’t told you?” He sounds surprised and you frown.  
“No, why would they? I didn’t even ask for a full script.”  
He laughs, sounding a little forced, before clearing his throat. “So, I’ll see you tonight?”  
“Nah, you go have fun, I’m knackered and I’ve got another full day of reshoots tomorrow.”  
“Oh…” you want to say he sounds disappointed but you dismiss the thought before adding, “Give everyone my love, I’m sure we’ll see each other soon, or at least at the press junket.”  
“Uh, yeah, sure.” He says.  
“Have fun, bye!” You say before adding, “Oh, and, Chris?”  
“Uh, yeah?”  
“Thanks for being so patient with me on our scene.”  
“No problem. It was a tough one, you did good.”  
“Thanks,” a pause punctuates your conversation before you shake yourself out of your reverie. “Now go! Have fun!” You laugh.  
You can hear him smiling, “Yeah, sure. See you soon.”  
You end the call and go back to your reading.


	2. Tongue Tied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day One, Take Two

You groan as your alarm goes off. You press snooze on your phone and snuggle back into the pillow. 20 minutes later you finally hit stop and check your phone. 6:20, you frown as you didn’t remember setting your alarm, and quickly go to the toilet before stopping halfway and frowning at the book you were reading yesterday. You must have put it back during the night or something. You shake your head, trying to clear the morning fog from it and take a shower before getting ready. 15 minutes later you shrug on a pair of leggings and your favourite sweater before realising that you don’t remember changing out of those exact clothes last night. You frown, but head outside to the training compound. Your routine was pretty boring every morning, but it at least afforded you time for your head to wake up. You glided through the gymnastic warm up easily by now, before doing some resistance training. During your break, you decided to check to make sure Twitter was still functioning, only to find Chris’ tweet missing… you frowned- he wouldn’t delete it, would he? You quickly scroll through seeing no new news and close the app before pulling up your schedule for the day. The days had started to blend together, so you took to putting every little thing in your calendar, only to see yesterday’s schedule repeated. You groan, your phone was an asshole, and quickly swiped left, revealing what should be today’s schedule. Not one for remembering dates, you flag down a producer and ask him the date. It’s the 4th, he replies, and the deja-vu hits you full force. You quickly confirm the date from another person setting up lights and quickly confirm that you’re shooting your big scene with Cap today. You head to breakfast, feeling dazed, and sit down. The cafeteria lady, Marge, offers you the choice between eggs and bacon or pancakes as Chris interrupts asking for both as you request the bacon. You gaze at him with wide-eyes as he sits down.

“You okay?”  
“Umm, no.”  
“What’s wrong?” He frowns.  
“This is going to sound nuts. I think I’m having a dissociative episode…”  
“Have you had them before?” He asks gently and you nod before explaining.  
“I swear it feels like I’ve already lived this day… I do a bunch of reshoots ad then wait for you at Lot 5A, you show up early and we try the scene once and it works. Then we shoot it three times before it finally clicks, and we go to the makeup room. I decide to stay in, you tweet a goodbye at Cap and go to the party…” You explain quickly, frowning.  
“ _Woah_. Talk about deja-vu, huh.”  
“You don’t believe me, obviously.” You say plainly.  
“Oh, no, _I believe you_.” He says honestly, “the brain is a weird and wonderful thing, would it help if I promised to not tweet tonight? And maybe we can go run through that scene before I go do the rest of my reshoots?”  
“You’d do that?” You frown.  
“Sure. Your mental health is more important than...well, twitter and my schedule.”  
“Thanks,” you breathe a bit better, “that would be a great help.”  
“Sure, let me just…” he calls over Kevin and explains the change of plans. Kevin reluctantly agrees despite Chris refusing to answer why and your food arrives just in time for you to talk about the scene as you scarf down your breakfast and wash it down with tea.

You both head outside and practise the dynamics of the scene, with you easily coming from the right angle now that the critique is fresh in your head. The scene runs perfectly, and you high five Chris with a grin before hugging him unexpectedly. He easily wraps his arms around your shoulders as you thank him and his whispered “you’re welcome” has you quickly letting go, lest he see the goosebumps now adorning your neck. You pat his pec twice and say a goodbye before skipping to the compound for more reshoots. He shouts after you, “This totally means I’m dragging you to the party!”  
“Okay!” You wave at him and head inside. The rest of your day is supremely boring, despite still tripping on a wire, burning your tongue on hot tea and an uninspired chat with Dave, each punctuated by a hit of deja-vu.

You slip into your suit much more easily than out of it, the zip resting in between your breasts, so you don’t feel suffocated, and quickly head out to the makeup room. Chris looks at you, and you can feel his eyes quickly raking your form before his makeup artist is tutting at him to turn back. You smile and sit down, asking him how his day was before he quickly replies boring and redirecting the question to you. “Also boring, still kinda deja-vu... _y_?”  
He laughs. “Sounds annoying. So you’re definitely coming to the party then?”  
“Well, I don’t know, I still feel like I’m intruding.”  
“ _Please_ , you’re fine, everyone loves you. You _have_ to come.”  
“Alright, sure.”  
“Good.” He says softly before your faces are both yanked away by your respective makeup artists. You quickly pull up the playlist on your phone. “So in my dream or whatever, you liked this playlist I made for Spider-Woman, and we listened to a song on it.”  
“Play it for us!”  
“Yeah, okay, sure.” You say easily already connecting your phone to the wireless speaker in the room and playing the song.  
“Ah, yeah! This is a _fantastic_ song!” Chris enthuses and you smile. You both head to your respective rooms for more reshoots and find yourself back at that clearing looking at the log Chris- _Cap_ \- is to sit on. You listen to some songs you don’t remember playing last night and wait for Chris. He arrives as the sun begins to set and you nail the scene easily. Except your emotions are all off. You quickly shake your head and close your eyes to be in the mental space, and try again. This time it works perfectly and you look at the sun as it sets just as the director calls cut with another hit of deja vu. You guys back to the makeup chair and you ask him about his next movie. He fills you in briefly, and you quip about him being hired for his ability to keep a secret rather than his talent. He laughs and swings an arm around your shoulder. “It was really good finally getting to do that scene with you, you know?”  
“It was lovely working with you, and thanks for all of the help.” You say honestly as you zip down the suit. He smirks at you, and you smile back, feeling that familiar tension rise as he looks at you. The moment is quickly broken as Mary comes to drag you into the dressing room. You say a quick goodbye and good luck with the rest of the scenes.  
“Pick you up at around 8, okay?”  
“Sure. You know where to find me.”  
He nods in confirmation as you head back to your trailer to contemplate what to wear. You give up after a while and call him.  
“Hey.”  
“Hi.”  
“Hey.” You laugh. “Um, what do I wear?”  
“Oh. Um, I dunno, like _smart casual_?”  
You huff at him, “ _Fine_. What are _you_ wearing.”  
“Well, nothing right now.” He says, and your squeak is luckily drowned out by the rest of his sentence, “I, too, am pondering the meaning of _smart casual_.”  
“Okay, then."You breathe, "Probably just wear like nice pants with no holes or marks and one of those elbow-length shirt-things you have?”  
“Sure. Okay.” He smiles. “Does that mean I can choose what _you wear?_ ”  
“Sure. Wanna come over?” You laugh, “I’ll put the kettle on.”  
“Be there soon.” The call ends. You fill up the kettle before unlocking the trailer door and getting in the shower.

You trail out, wrapped in a towel, to Chris making you both a cup of tea. You quickly head to the wardrobe- you can’t believe you forgot your robe! “No peeking.”  
He laughs, “Promise.” He says, turning around to resolutely face the kettle.  
You quickly let the towel drop and shrug on your robe, tying it quickly while keeping an eye on him. “Okay, I’m decent.”  
“Here.” He says and hands you a cup of tea, you thank him and turn to your wardrobe, “So, what're you thinking?”  
“Ah, yes. Down to business, let’s see.” He sets down his cup and rifles through your clothes as you sit down on the chair.  
“What about… this one?” He says and reveals a mid-length, kinda flowy, navy blue dress.  
“Sure.” You easily agree. “Mmm, I think the back is open, yeah?”  
“Uh, yep.”  
“Right. Okay, so…” you rifle through your drawers getting some underwear and bypassing the socks before standing back up for Chris’ opinion. “Do you think I could go barefoot?”  
He grins and shrugs, “Why not?”  
“Cool.” You nod, “I’ll go get dressed, be back in a sec.”  
“Sure.” He says and sits down on the chair to drink his tea. You come out a couple of minutes later pulling back your hair from the nape of your neck, and clearing your throat. Chris is reading a book from your collection. “Sorry, I-”  
“No worries, you can borrow it if you like, actually. I just need help with this thing, the clasp at the top is really fiddly.”  
He clears his throat and sets down the book, “sure.” He takes the two sides from you and has a quick look. “Oh, I think _this one_ , yeah. _There_ we go.” He quickly clips them together. You turn around and he explains, “I think the metal was slightly warped on the one side is all.”  
You smile and thank him.  
“No problem so, you ready to go? We’re a bit early but…” he shrugs.  
“Oh, well, if we’re early I might just figure out something with my hair and face. If that’s okay? I can meet you at the car in while if you want to go and um… yeah.” You sit down at the vanity and turn the lights on.  
“Nah, I’ll stay. If that’s okay?”  
“Yeah, sure.”  
“It’s too bad we couldn’t hang out before, everyone says you’re super nice and I think they dropped the word _‘nerd’_ a few times.” He grins.  
You laugh, before applying mascara. “Oh, yeah, _total nerd_. I mean, _seriously_ , everything.”  
“ _Really?_ ”  
“Oh, yeah. Let’s see… theatre nerd, comic book nerd, sci-fi nerd… um, oh- Disney nerd, _of course_!”  
“Ah, _see_ , I knew I would like you.” You laugh and a bit of anxiety is relieved.  
“Well, I’m glad, I was so sorry you were just doing reshoots and had to hang out with _me_...at least you get to see everyone at the party, right?”  
“Right, _but no_ , I really like your character- and you, _of course_. Are you feeling less deja-vu-y?”  
A thought niggles your brain, “Actually, _yeah._ But about that, I figure it was a dream.”  
“Oh, yeah. Sure, that’s happened to me before, maybe on a slightly smaller scale, but yeah.”  
“Yeah, well in the dream you said something that made it sound like you were surprised I didn’t know how Cap’s storyline ended?”  
“You _don’t_?” He asks, surprised.  
“No. No, not at all, _why would I_?”  
“I thought for sure- that’s, kinda important.”  
You look at him questioningly. “Well, see now, with all this damn secrecy… I’m _sure_ you’re supposed to know, but now they either _didn’t tell you_ for a reason or they _forgot to_ and how am _I_ supposed to know the difference!”  
“I guess we could call Kevin?”  
He smiles, “I’m sure he’s at the party, we’ll just ask him then.”  
“Alright, that’s fine.” You smile and apply the last touches to your hair. “ _Right_ , I’m done.”

He leads the way to your car, “Do you wanna drive?” You ask, offering your keys.  
“Really?” He asks, surprised.  
“ _Why?_ Are you a _bad driver?_ ” You ask suspiciously, and he laughs.  
“ _No_ , no I’m a fine driver. It’s just an expensive car.”  
“I _am_ aware.” You deadpan and toss him the keys before bundling into the passenger side, drawing your knees to your chest on the leather seat. “I should confess,” you admit, “I still don’t drive here. I know I’m allowed to but...it’s just so fucking scary to drive on the right side!”  
Chris barks out a laugh and grabs your knee. “I’m sure you’d be fine, but I’m happy to drive us anyway.”  
“It’s kinda ridiculous, though, since I love driving, and driving fast. _Hence_ …” you trail off and gesture to the car.  
“ _Right_. Grew up in the suburbs myself so I guess we were never exposed to speed much. I mean, we had a car for trips to the grocery store or so and the occasional vacation getaway and I got my license as soon as I could, but yeah.”  
You hum in understanding, “Well, I grew up in a very petrolhead family… so cars were pretty essential and you could drive 110 kilometres per hour which is…to convert to miles you just take two-thirds of that… so, like, 66ish miles. So, pretty standard, yeah?”  
“Actually, I think we’re about to hit 80.”  
“ _Wait, really_?” You say excited and prop yourself up on your knees before realising who you’re with. You dampen your excitement and settle down, looking at Chris. He’s smiling at you, “I’m really glad you came tonight.”  
You smile back at him before leaning back and closing your eyes for the rest of the ride, Led Zeppelin playing loudly as you sigh into the vibrations of the car.

 

“We’re here.” He announces half an hour later, pulling up to a gorgeously lit house, all angles and colours with fountains and topiaries dotting the front lawn as far as you can see.  
“ _Wow_.” Is all you can manage and Chris gives a faint chuckle.  
“They’ve had it six years and I’m still in awe.” He admits.  
“No kidding. It’s _very Gatsby_.”  
“You should tell them that, I think it’s what they’re going for.” He says and parks the car.  
“Just leave the keys inside, we’re in the middle of nowhere after all.”  
He shrugs and tosses it in the middle before winding down his window slightly “just in case.”

You head out quickly sprinting to the paved area, over the loose gravel. He chuckles and takes measured steps toward you as you pick off the pointier bits of gravel from the sole of your foot.  
“You okay?”  
“All good, thanks.” You smile at him before wandering off to the side of the fountain. You wave what you hope is an enthusiastic greeting at Robert and Susan before continuing to stare at the water. Soon everyone is outside ushering Chris in, and he’s hugging and enthusing at too many people to realise you’re still outside.  
You run your hands through the water feeling melancholic and stare at the horizon, you didn’t like staying in one place so long… you were itching to break out and snoop into their gardens but you gave yourself a beat before drying your hand in your dress and heading up the stairs. Chris is still caught up in greeting everyone and you smile at the cast you barely got to interact with. Most of your scenes had been with Holland, and apparently, he was feeling sick. So you made your way to the bar stool to sit down at the alcohol-less bar that Susan is tending to and watch the group.

“They’re like a fraternity.” She says laughingly and you agree before asking her how her day has been. She gets up to make your drinks but you stop her.  
“I was actually a bartender for a couple of years, mind if I man the fort for a while?” She protests that you’re her guest and you smile at her instinctive mothering.  
“Please? _Really,_ I’d love to have a bit of a break from the mundane.”  
Which is how you end up serving drinks for the next hour, smiling as you pour drinks and brave tricks for the crowd. Lounging at the back of the bar in between rounds and sipping a mocktail.  
Scarlet comes to make conversation and apologises on behalf of the others later, which you reassure her isn’t necessary. Later, you’re all drawn to the pool to watch the stars as Susan shuts down all the outside light. Well after everyone has gone back inside you stare at the stars longing for...something. You sigh and unwittingly sink into sleep, your mind tired from running on 100% all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would apologise about the car bit, but I was both excited and bummed when I found out Americans can drive faster than 120km/h which is the max legal speed I've ever driven, and I just fet it had to be said somewhere...


	3. Run Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief mentions of;  
> \- eating disorders;  
> \- manic depression;  
> \- and self-harm.

You gasp awake in your bed and the edges of your vision blur as panic grips you. You quickly run outside to ask someone the date before screaming in frustration. You’re almost sorry when Chris has to pick you up and take your crazed ass inside.  
_Oh, right, you don’t really know me now._  
“What?” Chris says harshly in a tone you can barely recognise, _apparently you had said that out_ loud, and puts you down. You shrug and storm off, shoving people out of your way as Chris tries to keep up with you. He catches you meters from your car and lifts your feet off the ground. You struggle in vain as he demands an explanation from you. You shout at him to let you go but his adamance has you screaming explanations at him soon.  
“Fine! You want to know! This is the third fucking time I’ve had to live this fucking day and I hate it! I hate being trapped and I hate the scene with Cap. And I hate your stupid face most of all!” His grip loosens in surprise and you wiggle out running to your car and driving off into the distance due north. You ignore your phone as it rings and rings till it dies, driving until you run out of petrol. You wipe tears you don’t remember shedding from your eyes and make your way to the backseat. You had left your wallet and everything behind, so you would walk to the nearest hotel tomorrow and ask to borrow their phone. You fall into a restless sleep after 1 pm mostly fueled by disbelief and your inability to process what’s happening. You wake when it’s dark outside and, having nothing else to do, brave the cold and wind down your roof to look at the stars. You sigh and try calming yourself by identifying constellations as you try and ignore the implications of the repeated day. Surely, whatever it was would be put to a stop now. You feel a sudden tug at your stomach and feel dread well up inside you.

You gasp and open your eyes. Shit, it just keeps repeating! You climb underneath the covers to think on what the hell you did to cause this time loop and what the fuck you can do to stop it but you only come up empty. Mary is calling you, probably worried since you’re hours late. You’re making lists and pinning up post-it notes when a knock punctuated the silence. You peer outside and see Chris Evans. You had made a decision, some things needed to happen and your scene with Chris was one, but why was he here so early?  
_“Hi?”_  
“Uh, hey. So everyone is _kinda worried_ and I figured I might come over to see if you’re okay and bring you some brunch?” He says, lifting the wrapped platter towards you.  
“Do you wanna come in? Fair warning, you _will_ think I’m crazy.”  
He raises his eyebrows at that and spares no glance to look anywhere but the wall of writing while you eat brunch in silence, both sitting on your bed. After you’re done he ventures, “ _so_ Groundhog Day, huh.”  
“Well, that’s I'm trying to figure out, _yeah_.”  
“Okay.”  
“You don’t believe me.”  
“Did you expect me to?”  
“No.” You shrug.  
Chris gives you sympathetic smile before answering. “ _Wait_ , what if I told you something no one knows about me, so _I’ll know_ you're telling the truth tomorrow.”  
“ _Really?_ Thanks.” You say and smile at him.  
“Okay. So, _let me think_.” He ponders before deciding “I think my parents were suspicious but this is really something you have to keep under wraps. Only my therapist knows at this time.”  
“Okay, _I promise_. I’ll think of something to tell you. You know, just in case.”  
He smiles. “Alright. Okay. _Wow,_ this is more difficult than I thought. I had a…” he takes a deep breath. “I had an eating disorder. For a couple of years just before I started Cap.” He looks down.  
“I have manic depression. Even had suicidal thoughts for a long time, but I never got help and I always teetered just on the edge of cutting myself. I found other ways to hurt myself, though.” You say quietly.  
“No one knows?” He asks, concerned.  
“My parents know _now_ , and I had a therapist for a while. I’m doing better, but apparently, I had some _really screwed up hormones_ so now I take two pills a day and they just sort of even out the highs and lows so they’re not so extreme.” You give him a watery smile.

A comfortable silence falls and you eventually venture to look up at each other. “Even if you don’t believe me, do you have any advice at all?” You ask.  
“Well, the thing is... most of these narratives are _usually_ about the idea of the universe giving you a chance to right a wrong you won’t be able to take back normally. Maybe if you just _do the right thing,_ you’ll wake up tomorrow?”  
You ponder for a while, “Yeah, but what is _the right thing_?” You list of the general gist of the repeated day leaving him for a few moments to mull it over.  
“Fuck, I don’t know. _Sorry? Though_ , for seemingly abandoning you at the party.”  
“What, Chris, no! You didn’t, at all.” You reassured him. “I _really_ enjoyed myself, I’m just…” you bit your lip. This was the kicker because every day you trusted Chris more and every day he had to get to know you over and over again.

“What?” He prompted with a frown.  
“I just have a _massive_ sense of wanderlust, and I feel like I’m _bursting inside my own skin with the effort to stay still_.” You reveal in one breath. Chris evaluates you and smiles gently, sympathetically.  
“That’s fair. I don’t know that I’m that way but I feel the same way when I have to be serious all the time. Like I have a wanderlust for fun instead of travel,” he laughs. “I need some fun. _I know_!” He says enthusiastically, pointing at you as you look at him questioningly, “We should _get high_ tonight.” He says as if it’s the best idea in the world. You clearly stare at him for too long and you can see his face fall as apologies start forming on his lips before you blurt, “Yes! _Fuck, yes!_ That sounds awesome, do you _have...weed_ , though?”  
“ _Oh, yeah,_ ” he grins mischievously and you can’t help but smirk back at him to ignore the slight tumult that his smile is causing in your stomach. His eyes soften as he says, “Alright. It’s a... _date_ then." He claps his hands together. “ _I_ will make sure they don’t bother you for the rest of the day until we shoot our scene and then we can come back here and get high on the chance it’ll afford us an epiphany over this.” He nods at the wall of scribbles. “ _Oh_ , and we should remember to get enough snacks.” He adds as he stands up and looks uncertain. You realise he isn’t sure if he should hug you, so you smile and give him a quick hug. “Thank you so, _so_ much, Chris.” You say honestly, “I don’t know _what I would_ do if you weren’t here! Thank you for being so understanding.” You give him another quick hug and send him on his way.

Mary and Alice show up an hour before sunset, and you startle at the knock. You quickly check outside and debate letting them in. You decide that doing so can’t do much more damage, maybe they’ll have some ideas on the matter. Alice mutters something that sounds suspiciously like “curse” and refuses to expand on her thinking while Mary simply skirts around your mental health and steadfastly talks about the makeup as she dusts and lines your face. Once you're suitably prepped you head out to Chris and he initiates the hug. “You’re so friendly,” you smile at him and he grins.  
“Thanks. That’s not a compliment I often get, I just like people.” He shrugs and you smile, before his tone turns serious. “So, you holdin’ up okay.”  
“I guess? Looking forward to tonight.” You say honestly, you wouldn’t usually be so candid and you wonder if you should just try and be a better person, a _nicer_ person, for this curse to drop. Well, it was worth a shot, and for some reason, the anxiety of what people would think about you is slowly fading as each October 4th rolls around. You and Chris run the scene once and he gives you a brilliant smile and a thanks that has his answer to your question of why he’s thanking you falling away under the director’s loud “SCENE.” You make comically wide eyes at Chris and he smirks at you before shaking his head and dropping into character and entering the scene. It goes by really fast and torturously slow at the same time, but the motions are rawer this time ‘round and easier to access, so it goes smoothly and you’re wrapping up in the makeup room in no time.

Except this time Chris is waiting for you as you exit, and he smiles.“So, apparently, I did so well at reshoots that I’m actually done now. So… _no more Cap_ ,” he holds out his hands in a half-shrug.  
You smile at him. “Then _let’s get high_!” You hold up your hand for a high-five which he eagerly reciprocates, and you barely notice your hands naturally interlacing as you drag him along to the kitchen. You stock up on armfuls of chips, nuts, fizzy drinks and alcohol as Chris begs for some sandwiches since he’s not allowed in the kitchen anymore. You frown at that revelation but put a pin in it, too caught up in Chris’ puppy dog face and pouty lips.

Your breath hitches as you realise you’ve been staring and you shake your head out of a reverie and resolutely walk away from him to wait outside until he triumphantly bellows his return with three platters of sandwiches. You grin at him and head back to your trailer where he deposits the food before quickly nipping off to find his weed and any extra food he may have. You dig out your massive stash of chocolate and retrieve Oreos and milk from the fridge to wait for him.  
He returns not long after and reveals the weed from under your shirt, you snort in amusement and he laughs, “old habits die hard.” He admits and you fall off the bed in laughter. He helps you back up, so you can both sit on the bed.

 

The stiff line of your shoulders is obvious and you try to both admonish yourself for letting your thoughts get to you (Does he expect something to happen tonight? What if he doesn’t remember tomorrow? Would I be okay with him not remembering tomorrow? What if you make a move and he isn’t interested at all? Simultaneously being anxious about him wanting you and rejecting you- typical.) and not thinking about the party earlier. He’s halfway to asking if you’re okay, and you murmur, “You have the party tonight.”  
“I cancelled.”  
“What?! _When?_ ”  
“This morning. I know I _seem_ like a party guy-” you quirk up an eyebrow, “ _and I am_.” He amends hastily and you nod. “ _But_ , I’m also r _eally fucking tired_. I’ve basically been going at it non-stop for the last eight years and I can’t remember the last time I let myself _actually_ cut loose. The guys all insinuate I’m this wild party animal, in reality- I _used to be_. I won’t lie and try to convince you that I don’t try to be the life of the party, but that’s just ‘cause I'm loud…” he trails off and half-shrugs with a smirk.  
“So you’re staying here tonight.”  
He has the decency to blush at that, “Well,” he takes a deep breath, “let’s, you know, let’s have some alcohol or something.” You huff a laugh at his attempt to bat away the topic of conversation.  
“Okay.” You venture, “If you want to _act_ like a teenager-” he protests and you take the bottle of beer from him, “then let’s play truth or drink.” You challenge, he smirks and pops of his cap. You twist yours open and take a long drink. “Just to warm up.” You smile and he concedes with a nod before drinking. You clink your bottle to his, “cheers.”  
“Cheers. You go first.”  
“Hmmm, what’s a good warm-up question. Okay, did you have an imaginary friend growing up?”  
“Not that I can remember… nah, I think I had too many siblings to have an imaginary friend.” He muses before drinking anyway and grinning at you.  
“Have you ever lied on your resume to get a job?"  
“Yes,” you admit and he starts laughing so you speak louder, “but, BUT, but- I did not get the job _so…_ ” you say and pointing a finger at him.  
“What was the last thing you texted?”  
“Ooh, _that’s a good one_ , I think I’ll drink.” He says and clinks his almost empty bottle to yours.  
“Sure,” you agree and add, “but, you need to _finish it_ , obviously.”  
He grins before downing it in one and reaching to open another as he asks you. “Okay, so what is your guilty pleasure.” You quickly utter a “ _nope_ ” and swill the rest of the beer down your throat. Chris raises an eyebrow and you can see curiosity burning in his eyes, but he hands you another beer and waits for your question. “If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, how would you spend that time?”  
“With my family and Dodger.” He says easily.  
“Dodger is your dog, right?”  
“Right.”  
“He looks _adorable_ , I think _I_ might want to spend my last hours on earth with him.” You laugh with Chris before he asks, “What’s the most money you’ve spent on something you _didn’t_ need?”  
A blush spreads across your cheeks and you mutter, “that car.” Vaguely pointing in the direction of the parked car, Chris gives you a questioning look and you sigh, keeping what he knows straight is proving more difficult than you imagined. You stand up and gesture for him to follow you, and you lead him to your car where he lets out a low whistle of appreciation.  
“Well, _there she is_.” You say.  
“Uh-huh.” Chris smiles, and you evaluate the surroundings in a peaceful silence. The booze loosening you both up nicely.

 

“It’s getting _surprisingly_ chilly, can we head back now?”   
“Yeah, of course, sure.” He says and swings and arm around your shoulders, “ _for warmth_ ,” he says, and you don’t complain.  
“How many tattoos do you have?” You ask as he closes the trailer door behind you.  
“Six.” You look up, realising he’s looking at you intently and you get caught up in his eyes, subconsciously worrying your bottom lip before he puts down his beer and reaches across to cup your face and your breath hitches. He slowly traces your cheekbone down over your lips and back. You lick your lips, and swallow, your throat suddenly dry. His tongue darts over his bottom lip before he bites it into his mouth and your eyes lock onto his lips as your hand comes up to take his hand in yours. You slowly pull his arm closer to your mouth and kiss his wrist before licking it quickly and travelling kisses to his palm.  
“Are you going to let me kiss you?” He asks barely above a whisper and you nod. He steps forward and re-captures your face in his hands, pressing your foreheads together and looking into your eyes. Your hands are wrapped around his neck and your breath is coming in small pants. You lean forward, closing your eyes instinctively only to feel him pull back. You loosen your arms in surprise and open your eyes to see a regretful look on Chris’ face. Your stomach squirms with rejection and you take back your arms, yanking your wrists out of his grasp and folding your arms into your withdrawn form.  
“Get out.” You whisper.  
“ _Please_ , I just-”  
“Just what? Just _get out_.”  
“You’re 27 and _clearly_ not in the best headspace right now, I just-”  
“Get the fuck out Chris. _Now_.”  
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I-”  
“ _Please_ don’t make me beg.” You wince as your voice crack slightly.  
“Okay, okay.” He says and quickly shoves his feet back into his shoes and takes the weed in hand before tossing it on your bed as he leaves. You throw it back into a closed door as the dam breaks, the bitter sting of rejection welling up as you start to sniffle.  
Testing your new theory, that you can outlast it by staying awake, is proving very hard to accomplish as tears sting your eyes but you make it to midnight before vertigo seems to almost swallow you whole, and then it’s 6 am.  
Defeated, you fall into a restless sleep, not waking until an hour later, eyes puffy and throat scratchy.


	4. Waiting in Vain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Implied suicide at the end  
> Depressive episode- apathy  
> Leads to, what's supposed to be, dissociative inner-dialogue

You stand up, bedraggled and quickly have a drink of water after you go to the toilet. You check that the date is still the same and send a text to the producer _“I’m not getting out of bed today.”_ Then you turn off all your alarms and send Chris a one-worded _“Sorry.”_ as you set your phone on silent and put on a playlist over the Bluetooth speakers you have on your bedside table. You shuffle back under the blankets and cry yourself to sleep again.

 

A knock has you reeling awake, and you check your phone for the time, it’s 8 am.

“ _Come in._ ” You say reflexively, grimacing at yourself.

“Uh, _okay_ …” Chris enters and tentatively sits on the edge of the bed. “I _was_ going to come to ask if you’re okay, but clearly…” you sniffle.

“Yeah.” You murmur and close your burning eyes into your pillow as a thought occurs to you and you frown cutting off whatever Chris was saying. “Why do you always come to check on me if I don’t get up?” You ask, not caring that the question would make no sense to him.

“What do you mean _always_?”

“Just answer the question first.” You squint at him.

“O... _kay_?” He rubs his hand into the nape of his neck muttering something about playing it cool. “I volunteered, _okay_? I wanted to get to know you better. I was just going to pay an intern to let me know when you took your breakfast so I could join you, but…”

“ _Right_.” You murmur and haul yourself up to lean against the headboard, shivering slightly at the sudden lack of blankets but unwilling to inch closer to Chris to be under them. He looks pointedly away suddenly and looks around before grabbing your sweater from the floor and tossing it at you without looking. You ignore the curl of rejection and look down at yourself imploringly, you’re dressed in a skin-tight singlet and underwear, you found it too hot to sleep in anything else. You hold the sweater consideringly before draping it over your feet instead.

“ _Look at me_.” You say in a small voice. Chris clearly checks if you’re dressed before clenching his jaw.

“Why?”

“I _need you_ to look at me.” You say more forcefully.

He glares at your face determinedly and you frown. “You’ve _clearly_ heard about me. I love Disney.” He nods. “I love theatre, and sci-fi and most of all I love dogs.”

“Downey _mentioned it_ , yeah.” He admits, and you purse your lips.

“You clearly think I’m attractive, and I think you want to kiss me? _Sleep with me_?”

His jaw clenches but he nods once. “So why _won’t_ you?” You demand, “If I came on to you, right now, you would push me away. Why.”

“Because.” He gestured vaguely at you, “You’ve _clearly_ been crying.”

You groan in frustration at the irony. “No. I mean, let’s just pretend for a second here.”

“Would you _please_ put the sweater on?”

“ _Fine_.” You grumble and pull it over. “Let’s just pretend for a moment that I was having a weird day but I got up and did my reshoots and we talked at breakfast. We realise _we have a lot in common_. Humour. Theatre. Music. Tea. Dogs.” You shrug. “You confirm that I’m going to the party but I deny, claiming fatigue- I want to stay in. I know for a fact you aren’t really up for the party-”

He looks surprisingly at you and you shrug. “So I invite you over. We drink a couple of beers, _maybe_ we get a little high. You come on to me and I respond well to it, we tease each other slightly and then I ask you if you’re going to kiss me, or _what._ ”

He closes his eyes. “ _And I would walk away_.”

“Yes. Why?”

“ _Because_ I already feel like enough of a perv, _okay!_ ” He shouts, clearly frustrated. “You’re _fucking beautiful_ and running around in a _skin-tight suit_ on set and you laugh at the same things I do and _I can’t stop thinking..._ about kissing you.” He blurts out. You raise your eyebrows, taken aback.

“Chris.”

“I _know,_ okay. I know we don’t know each other that well- I’ve only talked to you, like, _five times_ but-”

“Chris. _I want that too_. So why won’t you kiss me?”

“You’re _27_.” He groans.

“Really? It’s an age thing, _are you fucking kidding me right now_?”

“What? No. I just, I- you’re ten years younger than me. That doesn’t mean _nothing_.”

“That’s _exactly_ what it means.” You say affronted.

“I told myself I would stop sleeping around. I’m trying to _actively settle down_.” He stressed.

“So, _what_ , I’m not girlfriend material?” You ask gently, the venom disappearing from you voice as your frown relaxes. “You just don’t want to date me… _oh_. Okay, then.” You shrug and stand up, pulling on sweatpants.

“Wait, really. That’s it?” He questions.

“I guess so. You answered my question, it is what it is. I mean, I always thought if you can be friends, you can date, but sure- you can’t exactly change what another person can be to you. You clearly look for something else in a girl, and that’s fine. I’m not going to force myself on you.” You say in a monotone, rambling as you put on shoes. “I’ll be at the shoot at sunset, but I should get going. Mary will need all the time I can give her to get rid of these.” You motion to your puffy eyes and head outside, “Close the door after you head out, okay?” You call back over your shoulder as you pick up your pace. You almost start running when you see the door for the makeup department, but insteaed you force your pace to be even, waving and smiling at everyone with what you hope is a convincing smile. You haven't forgotten that you're trying to be nice. You start pulling on your uniform and pull your sweater over top, feeling a bit more vulnerable than usual. You feel strangely empty as you lounge in the makeup chair, waiting.

 

Mary fusses over you for two hours before she’s not unhappy with your face. Alice tries to comfort you, but you shrug- you can’t seem to scrounge up the energy to feel anything, let alone sadness or rejection. Nonetheless, you make sure to ask about her life, sympathising as she tells you about Jon's foray into the dreaded terrible twos. The back of your mind helpfully points out that this is a depressive episode taking hold, but, hey, you can’t seem to care about that either. You barely notice making your way over to the set, the sun still a good few minutes from setting as you engagingly talk to producers and help to set up the props as they're needed, before they shoo you off to your corner. You sigh as you wait for Chris to show up, he’s clearly waited until the last second to show up and as he does the producers are calling for the scene. You whip off your sweater and smile and stretch your face- you got through high school pretending to care, it’s the reason someone suggested you become an actor after all. The scene goes smoothly, and though it’s definitely not your best work, Chris has the scene down pat by the third take. They call action and you head to the makeup department, ignoring Chris and zipping out of the suit halfway there, just longing for your bed. You walk out in record time, half-heartedly apologising to Mary that you’ll take your own makeup off.

 

You ignore Alice’s concern, instead wishing everyone a great night, and walk past the producer who’s usually playing I Got You Babe by this point. But of course, you’re early, you walk at a slow pace, not particularly able to scrounge up the energy to walk back to bed. As you walk past the producer’s block at a snail’s pace you hear Chris speaking… oh, on the phone, you guess, because you can’t hear anyone responding.

“Now she thinks I think that she’s not girlfriend material, and I _still_ don’t know if she likes me!”

A pause follows, “I can’t just ask her out! If it gets weird we still have two more movies to do together, I can’t _ruin_ this for her!” You raise an eyebrow, Chris seems so private you’re actually almost surprised that he would have a conversation where anybody can hear him. You walk back to your loving bed, and strip before crawling back under the covers and pressing your face into the pillow. A thought occurs to you and you shrug, this was your worst nightmare- death would be easier but at least life would go on for everyone else. You don’t think about it twice as you swallow your almost-full bottle of pills with water and lie down, sleep claiming you easily.


	5. Try Try Again

You wake up with a gasp, nausea swirling into your throat. You quickly stumble out of bed to the toilet and throw up until you’re dry heaving. You wash out your mouth with coke and check your phone, for once a slight optimism in your chest at the date. You sigh and take stock of yourself, “yesterday” feels like a dream but apparently the reset works on your depression too, that’s kinda useful. You make a list of how today needs to go and as you map out your day, your acceptance begins to grow. You know more about today than you’ve known about any other day so you can be honest with yourself. You want Chris, and apparently, he wants you.

You take a deep breath and jog to the sports complex, asking an intern to let Chris know he should make quick work of his reshoots, you’ll need him for an hour during your break. You quickly run through your workout, the endorphin rush bolstering your confidence.  
As it hits nine you reschedule your reshoots for the day, you were booked in for the rest of the week anyway, and head to Kevin’s office. You knock quickly and let yourself in.  
“So I think there’s something you’re forgetting to tell me.”  
He laughs and nods for you to sit down, quickly typing on his laptop and pushing it towards you. You look at him questioningly.  
“It’s the timeline we’ve just confirmed with Downey and Evans. You don’t have to commit to this but we would like to take the character there instead of killing her off so soon.”  
“Oh.” You respond, slightly dumbstruck and flick through the timeline.  
“Wow.” You sit back in your chair.  
“What do you say? Can you help us out?”  
“I’m going to be honest here with you, Kevin, I’m not saying no. However, I think Chris and I may have some...unfinished business, for lack of another word. I really like him, and he really likes me, and if it doesn’t work out I can’t guarantee that this will work but we’re actors, we’ll do our best.” You shrug and stand up. You know what you want from life now, and you can almost giggle at the absurdity of it all.  
“You’re sure I can’t convince you to wait or just forget about that?” You shake your head no with a smile. He sighs, “didn’t think so. Had to try, well, then I wish you the best of luck.”  
“Thanks.” You smile and wander back. You text Chris as Mary applies your makeup.  
“Hey, so I’m totally kidnapping you for our break, and I’m going to head out for a picnic and do some stargazing instead of going to the party. Welcome to join me, otherwise, I’ll join you at the party later.”  
He responds simply with “It’s not kidnapping if the abductee is willing ;)”  
You smile and slip into the suit, making sure that Alice takes note of the changes you’ll need to make it more comfortable for next time. You grin, next time! You hadn’t thought it right to complain before since you thought this would be your only appearance. The reshoots are boring and still shock you a bit when it happens exactly the same, you shut off the creeping apathy with rock music and silly texts to Chris and manage not to burn your tongue on the tea or trip over the chord again. You even manage to save a producers phone from falling.

Soon, it’s back to the changing room so you can meet up with Chris.  
“Hi.” You grin at him.  
“Hi.” He smiles back and hesitates. “Can I hug you?”  
You smile broadly and wrap your arms around him in a hug, the stress melting from your shoulders. You wonder for a moment if you’re being too forward until his arms wrap tightly around your middle, pulling you closer and placing his chin on your head. “I feel like I’ve known you for so long since Downey won’t stop mentioning you.”  
You pull back slightly, “Really?”  
“Oh, yeah…” he chuckles, “maybe I’ll tell you about it later.” You nod quickly before unwillingly detaching yourself from him. “I should warn you that this is about to get a bit sci-fi and you probably won’t believe me.”  
He raises an eyebrow. “Do you accept the challenge?” You ask and hold out your hand. He smiles crookedly at you and takes your hand. You give him a quick grin before racing him to your car.  
“It’s the most expensive thing I’ve ever bought. And no, I don’t mind if you drive it.” You state as you toss him the keys and quickly head to the cafeteria. You had arranged ahead and thank Marge as she hands you the wrapped up sandwiches and chips. You clamber into the passenger side of the car as Chris pulls up to the curb and you give him some quick directions before letting the top down. He chuckles and you grin back, pumping your arms in victory. “Freeeedom!”  
He whoops in response and you descend into laughter as he pulls into a clearing near a forested area.

“So,” Chris says, waiting.  
“Okay. Hang on cause this is where it gets complicated. Let’s sit in the back seat, it’s a bit more comfortable.” You say and climb over to the back to open the wrapping on the food as Chris' toes his shoes off and follows your example. You cross your legs to face him and begin telling your story.  
“Okay…” he says as you finish.  
“I know, it sounds insane! I sound insane. I just don’t know how else to explain it to you.”  
“Sure. You said you sort of had proof.”  
“Well, it’s not concrete proof but on the, oh, I don’t know maybe third day or so? I wouldn’t say you believed but in any case, you said you’d tell me something that if I told you that didn't remember our conversation, you would believe me. I should also add that I told you something as well.”  
“So what was it?” You sigh a bit in relief as he seems more curious than disbelieving.  
“You told me that you had an eating disorder, right before you took the role of Cap.”  
He bites his lip, clearly more speaking to himself than to you. “Not even Robert coulda told you that. Not that he would, the only other people who know are my therapist and if she had told someone it would be all over the news by now.” He states and scrolls quickly through twitter and google. “So I guess I believe you. Fuck. That really is some sci-fi shit, you weren’t kidding.”  
“Nope. But seriously, you believe me?”  
He shrugs, “I can’t really not believe you, there is literally no other explanation for you knowing that about me. Like, I mean you could somehow have convolutedly bullshitted into my therapist's office just to do this, that just seems less likely, though.”  
“Okay, so, I left out the more personal stuff we have divulged and found out about each other, so if you’re up for it, I can tell you all about myself and what I know or, I don’t know…”  
“I think I’d prefer to know everything, honestly. I may regret it later but I won’t be satisfied until I know everything now.”  
“Okay, that’s fair.” You say and divulge what he “should” know about you, what you do know about him and what you dragged out of Kevin this morning.  
“I really was feeling like a bit of a perv, honestly. I uh… wow, I can’t believe I’m telling you this but I totally dreamt about you the night after we met, nothing sexual, or even really weird happened, I just woke up and you were in my bed and I was just content. Of course, after you showed up in your suit right after and then well…” he blushes.  
You giggle uncharacteristically and admit, “When I saw you suited up with that beard, well…” you wave your arms to cool yourself off exaggeratedly.  
“Honestly, I think Downey has been trying to set us up.” He laughs, and you huff.  
“That would actually explain all the stories he’d been telling me about you.”  
“Oh, crap. That can’t be good.” He cringes.  
“No, it was very, very good.” You say lasciviously and grin.  
“So I have a bit of a surprise.” He reveals, and you frown.  
“I convinced them to do all the reshoots before lunch, that’s why I had to postpone.”  
“But I guess this was still technically your last day as Cap, huh.” You grin and half-shrugs with a small grin. “Technically. Which is why I’m totally going to tweet about it, anyway. I don’t even care if they think Cap dies…”  
“I’m sure they’ll all think it’s pretty funny after all is revealed. Are you really okay with another contract, though?”  
“Actually, Downey and I don’t sign a contract until you do but we’ve been talking and we want them to make it movie-based instead of years, that way we can’t be roped into extra movies.”  
“So we’re doing this?”  
“I’m game if you are.” He says with a big breath.  
“Okay,” you grin. “What will we do with all this free time.” He grins at you and kisses you senseless.

“Wow.” You say breathless and giggle. “This is the best idea you’ve ever had.”  
“Oh, yeah.”  
He whoops loudly and you join him before swinging down from the branch.  
You thanked your luck and smiled as you realised Chris was just as weird as you, and he wasn’t even scared off by your forwardness.  
You’d already discussed and planned more regarding your relationship than most couples probably do in the first six months and here he was, daring you to swing from tree branches for fun. Your game of dare to be spontaneous was doing wonders for your mental health, and he later revealed, his as well. He kissed you senseless against a tree, and then on the forest floor as you couldn’t help yourself from swinging on top of him in a surprise attack he heard coming. You laughed together, and couldn’t help feeling this was right, relieved when he said it first. You then talked more about your likes and dislikes, as well as your potential future goals and ideals, feeling more at ease in days. Or day, really.

Eventually, you make your way back to the compound, kissing leisurely in the car, before scrambling unto the lot just in time for your scene together, and you ignore Alice’s knowing looks as you talk in great length about the brilliance of West Side Story and Robin Hood.  
“What if they did a remake of Robin Hood as a tap and musical production.” You say, looking at Chris’ reflection with wide eyes as he laughs in response. AS they finish the makeup, you smile as Chris doesn’t attempt to hide anything- interlocking your fingers with his naturally as you walked to the film location still talking. Your scene hits every mark you could hope for and you celebrated with a kiss, pulling apart like blushing virgins at the applause it caused. Chris had decided it would be best to give Kevin the good news, along with the other news (bad for him, but amazing for you) so you did your best to subdue your writhing nerves as his “I Got You Babe” plays while you wait for him to answer the door. Kavin ushers you both in happily, although apprehension is clearly written on his face, and you smile at Chris to let him know he can talk for you both.  
“We’ve both discussed it at length, we’re 100% in on the contract and our relationship, if you’ll still have us since the latter will come first,” Chris states firmly, clenching his jaw in an attempt to stay strong. Kevin nods thoughtfully before handing you both a contract.  
“It’s a movie-based contract that also has an expiry date. Robert insisted on that.” He shrugged, “Think it through more, read it over, especially Clause 10, and then let me know if we need to make alterations. The idea is for this is to have Spider-Woman and Cap be relatively normal, so it’s not so much a superhero movie as a lot of secondary roles in the next seven films, ideally. We only have you pencilled in for those, though, that will be up to you once we’ve shot your parts for the rest of the Spider-Man movies.” You looked at Chris happily, who nodded at Kevin.  
“Thanks, Kevin. We’ll look these over tonight and give you an answer tomorrow.” You said finally before leading Chris out and kissing him soundly in victory.

He led you to his trailer and threw you a shirt as you both excitedly talked about the new characteristics you’d be able to portray the characters with once they weren’t superheroes anymore. As Chris showered, you contemplated your day and thanked your lucky stars for him before taking your turn in the shower. Once you came out, you responsible had some dinner and water before taking the recommended dosage of relaxants and allowing Chris to pull you under the covers and wrap you up.  
As Chris cuddles you into his chest, you’re both remarkably relaxed after having talked over the repeating day and the theoretical impact of having sex and forgetting it. A game plan in place, you still don’t nod off until much later, your meds kicking you in the eyelids. You grin at the feeling of Chris pressed soundly against you before drifting off into a responsibly medically-induced dreamless sleep.


	6. A New Dawn

_Shit_ . _No, no, no, no, no..._ "NO!" You sob as you come to, Chris no longer pressed up against you and that all-too-familiar churning of nausea in your throat. Tears involuntarily feel as you scrambled for your phone and looked around in a panic at the inside of your trailer. Panic grips you as you read that godforsaken date again, and you desperately screw up your eyes in an attempt to calm yourself, but it's futile, and the last threads of your logical brain is only providing you with the information you already have; you're having a panic attack.

 

"Okay." You gasped for breath. "Everything," _in_ "is..." _out, in_ "fine." Your knees forced flat, you sit cross-legged on your bed and draw the blanket over your head so you can focus on now. "You have already done this day. We just need to how we get there, _not_ how it ends." You tell yourself adamantly, and then thoughts of Chris swim in your head, happy and sad and rejected and angry and frustrated and aroused and beautiful and gorgeous and mine _if I have the guts to go get him._ Breathing deeply, you revel in what you know you need to do, what you've always known, and what these days- this day -has taught you. Taking a chance on Chris could never be something you regret.

 

Filled with a new sense of purpose, you blink out of your stupor, drink your medicine appropriately and do your best to stay present. Making some tea, you try to think back on how today was original. There was nothing wrong with everyone else's day, just yours, how they acted wasn't wrong or what you needed to change and the only reason you would change it now is by being present. Living in the moment as you always insisted you did, lying to everyone, but mostly yourself. No more. Finding the most comforting clothes you could, you had a hot shower and tried not to give in to the temptation to make the water too hot. It did help, though, and you breathed easily once more as the redness easily faded so you could focus on getting out of the trailer.

 

It was the fastest you had ever gotten out of bed, and you breathed the morning air in deeply, letting the cool, crisp air wash into your lungs and over your face bracingly. After rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you found a banana in the wreck hall and went off to embark on your day. Stretching and limbering up was relaxing and you let yourself be grounded in the stretch and burn of your muscles as you lunged and rolled through the morning. Wiping off the sweat, you have an amicable chat with Jessica after saving her phone from falling into the path of tradesmen plodding by with a set on their shoulders. She thanks you again, and you smile easily wishing her a great day ahead. You make yourself some tea, aware that you have a few minutes free in your schedule. You're halfway to taking a sip before you remember to blow and decide to make a round to Kevin's office. Sure enough, you find him typing at a breakneck pace when you open his door at his shout for you to come inside. "I'll just be a minute..." He murmurs, "take a seat."

 

You breathe the aroma of your tea in deeply before taking a sip as he finishes off and pushes his laptop aside. A light bulb seems to go off in his head and before he sees your soft smile in response, he's rummaging through his drawer and brandishing a stapled-together paper with a giant watermark over it. You take another sip of your tea as Kevin launches into an explanation, "We've been meaning to ask you, but with the whole mess going on-" He shakes his head ruefully and you simply nod calmly in understanding. "Well." He breathes. "We would really love it if you would consider extending your role. We have some notes and a vague arc worked out. It ties in with the story we've built for Steve and Jessica, let's us add a bit of home-made drama and wisdom to Peter and Kamala's story-lines, and overall will just add a bit of something extra we think the fans will really enjoy." He says as you scan the papers, mostly remembering what they contained from the first time. You drain the last of your tea before standing up and giving Kevin the papers back.

"I'll think about it." You say firmly, and Kevin nods. "But it's a tentative yes. Thanks for considering me." You smile widely and Kevin responds in kind before sighing.

"Well, I should get back to it. Just let us know whenever, kid, we'd love to have you anytime, really."

 

"Thank you so,  _so_  much." You say sincerely once more before giving him a salute and making your way to brunch. Chris is already there, plate piled high with bacon and pancakes and you laugh in surprise at the picture he makes before getting your own food. He waves you over and you smile broadly at him, "How's reshoots." You ask, sympathy clear in your voice and he sighs.

"Not the worst I've done, but still my least favourite part." He admits, "How about yourself?"

"Not much to work on today, a little bit of voice work actually, which is different, and then our scene later." He hums in understanding as he shoves a bite of food in his mouth, and you do the same before continuing your conversation, "I talked to Kevin just now." Your tone is full of promise, and Chris' face light up, relieved.

"You gonna do it?"

"I dunno," His face falls slightly as he chews his next mouthful, "I'd really love to, but I'd like to talk to you about it a little bit before I commit."

"Me?" He says confused. Still, hope clouds his voice, and you smile as you nod. "Oh. Okay, sure. Maybe we can catch a ride together to the party tonight?" He offers and you smile.

"I actually have a car here. Would you like to join me?" You ask, smiling, and he nods happily. You spend the next few minutes finishing off your plates before he seems to finally feel comfortable in your presence.

 

"So, Downey has just told me so much about you, I feel like I already know you." He laughs slightly self-deprecatingly.

"The feeling's mutual." You smile, and you can see his eyes widen slightly in understanding at your slight smirk before you interrupt that train of thought. "How's Dodger?" He smiles widely before launching into an explanation of how he hates to leave Dodger at home and that he can't wait to see him. You laugh and smile at Chris' animated story-telling before he winds down.

"The reason I was telling you that Downey has told me so much about you, is just that I didn't want you to think I was being weird when asked about your upcoming trip to Boston. Wanted to offer you a place to stay, I have this massive house and it's really not necessary, so my friends all make use of it when they can so I just-" You cut him off with a smile and a soft touch to his hand.

"I'd love to, Chris, thank you, that's so thoughtful of you." You sigh, "Alas, I have to get to the sound booth. I'll see you later?" He nods and wishes you a clear throat with a laugh before drawing you in for a quick hug.

 

You don’t make an effort to hide how you melt into his arms this time, you would have tried if you could, but you were merciless in his embrace now that you knew what he could feel for you, if he let himself. He seems to unconsciously calm in your arms too, and you withdraw easily, smiling up at him and pretending that you aren’t blushing slightly, or that his cheekbones are now tinged with pink. The rest of the day is difficult, but you love your job despite having done it before- the practice only helping your emotions run smoother and your fuse to be longer. You’re barely frustrated when the sound equipment predictably breaks down again and simply smile and chat with Josh in an attempt to put him at ease.

“You seem really happy today, I’m glad.” He smiles and you thank him, give him a quick hug and run through your lines twice more before everyone is happy.

 

Glancing at the time, you realise it’s already time for you to head to Alice and Mary. Alice greets you with a mysterious glint in her eye, but only responds that they should get to work at your questioning glance. She takes notes of the suit’s more uncomfortable features they may be able to tweak as Mary helps you get your arms inside. Then it’s off to makeup and you let your mind drift to tonight, when you won’t be able to predict everything, and your stomach squirms slightly at the thought. Alice once again chimes in with her impeccable timing, talking about her family and her niece’s quinceanera next week. Eventually, she finds the photos of sample dresses and tables on her phone and lets you browse through them as they adjust your hair slightly. Leaving the zipper open slightly, so you don’t feel claustrophobic, you leisurely walk to the set with practised ease, nabbing an empty seat and putting your playlist on. It’s still foolproof for getting into character especially now that those songs and Jessica are intrinsically linked in your mind.

 

You almost laugh at the deja-vu when you look up to find Chris heading your way with a broad smile. You hug him quickly, letting his presence calm you and he gives you a final squeeze before starting to ask about the playlist. You simply hand over an earbud and he stays in your space as he listens to the music before looking down to your lips and swallowing slightly. Smiling, you take your time to trace his cheekbones, eyelashes and lips before realising you’d been caught. Blushing, you both open your mouths to explain only to cut off by a producer yelling for Chris to take his place. You give a small laugh, and tenderly take the earbud from him as he smiles softly at you. You can see his features calm as he gets into character, before swiping one of your stray hairs behind your ear and walking away. You blink owlishly before remembering where you are, and quickly rub at your face before placing your stuff down, yanking the zipper up and placing the mask over your eyes as the director gets ready to yell action. The takes are all good, and the producer and director comes to shake our hands much to your surprise. Chris thanks them both before hugging me in a celebratory brace with a big grin, lifting you up slightly and giving you a spin as you laugh incredulously.

 

You walk back to the makeup room, basically pressed against each other, and Alice’s knowing look returns as she strangely requests that they take the makeup off first. Usually, it’s reserved for last just because how time-consuming it is, but you comply anyway, and it affords you some time to talk about Boston, your upcoming trip and how much you want to see Dodger. Chris eventually heads off to more reshoots with a wave and you finally get the suit off not much longer afterwards. At your trailer, you decide to take a shower and shrug on the robe to lounge around while Chris finishes up. Your phone pings, and you realise you had almost forgotten about the tweet.

 

Chris Evans _@chris evans_

Officially wrapped on Avengers 4. It was an emotional day to say the least. Playing this role over the last 8 years has been an honor. To everyone in front of the camera, behind the camera, and in the audience, thank you for the memories. Eternally grateful.

 

You smile to yourself, and debate about it for a second before sending the text.

_They’re totally gonna think Cap died_

He texts back five minutes later, _Shit._ before a second text arrives, _Wel, technically…._

A small laugh escapes your throat and you obligingly send the correct emoji before he calls.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” You respond.

“Thanks for catching that.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, whatever will be will be.”

“Ques sera, sera? That’s your advice, really?” He asks with a laugh.

“It was more of a statement, but I think it works- yeah.” You state confidently, ginning, before asking. “So, what am I wearing to this party?”

“Uhm…” Chris ponders. “Whatever you want to wear will be fine.”

“What does the dress code say?”

“Oh!” He understands, “Smart casual.”

“What are you wearing?” You ask with a grin.

“Well, nothing right now.” He says, and you grin wider, the knowledge of what he will say not preventing your blush, “I, too, am pondering the meaning of smart casual.”  
“Okay, then." You breathe, "Probably just wear like nice pants with no holes or marks and one of those elbow-length shirt-things you have?”   
“Sure. Okay.” He smiles. “Does that mean I can choose what you wear?”   
“Sure. Wanna come over?” You laugh, “I’ll put the kettle on.”   
“Be there soon.” He says in lieu of goodbye.

“Actually…” You bite your lip.

“Yeah?”

“Could I make a request?”

“Sure, thing.” You can hear him smile.

You take a deep breath and then, “Would you do me a favour and wear one with a V-neck cut?”

He laughs, “Of course.” The call ends.

 

He walks in as you finish brewing the tea, and you hand him a cup before complimenting him. “You look really handsome.” You blush slightly, not used to being this open but glad you were when he seems to light up with the praise and allowing yourself a slight smirk as you see his tattoo peeking out from the neckline. A teasing smile finds its way unto his face and he cheekily responds, “Well, I had some great advice.”

You laugh slightly at his over-the-top tone, and gesture to your closet. “Have at it.” You allow and sit on your bed. He sips his tea and thumbs through the dresses and you barely wonder if he’ll choose the same dress when he actually withdraws two completely different ones. Your eyes widen slightly in surprise at the revelation before you realise he must know you better since he took more eccentric pieces this time around. Smiling, you stand up and allow him to compare the two dresses with a very serious pondering expression, you laugh.

“Would you like me to try them both on?” He seems to consider it for a second.

“No. I know which one I’d like you to wear, but I don’t want to seem overbearing…” He says, contemplative, and you frown.

“I don’t mind. Which one am I wearing?” He takes another second to look at the dresses before seemingly making up his mind and taking a completely different one out of the rack, and you laugh as he smiles sheepishly at you. As you put it on, you wonder if Chris was wary because it now looks like you’re matching…”Ta-da!” You proclaim, and Chris grins before looking you up with purpose.

 

Blushing involuntarily at his gaze, you take your cup and make yourself comfortable to get your makeup sorted. “Make yourself at home, I’m just going to do something with my hair.”

“Okay.” He says, easily, before stretching out on your bed. “So, Downey’s told you a lot about me?” He tries to ask casually, but the undercurrent of trepidation is very endearing.

“Oh, yeah.” You say, your voice full of insinuation and you leave it a beat before laughing softly and adding, “Mostly about how amazing your work-life balance is, and _did I know that he just absolutely loves dogs?”_

Chris gives a slight laugh, “He told me all about you, too, you know?”

“Oh yeah?”

Chris divulges some of the things he found most endearing to hear about you before realisation seems to fully dawn on him. “Wait.” He pauses for effect, and you smile at his reflection in the mirror, knowing he can see yours. “Is Downey trying to set us up?”

You turn around, done with your stuff. “Probably.” You admit, heart pounding, as you look at your feet.

 

It’s a wonder how 200 pounds of muscle can move quietly, but Chris sneaks up on you without trying, because when you finally look anywhere other than your feet, he’s right there with a vulnerable look on his face and you feel like you’re on the edge of the biggest decision you’ve ever made. Swallowing, you attempt to speak, though you’re not sure what you would even say if your vocal cords were functioning. Instead, the silence feels electric until Chris finally breaks it.

“I was going to ask you out.” He breathes, “On a date, I mean.” He continues, but his tone suggests he’s building up to something so you simply nod in understanding, hoping he continues. “But I realise...you’re 27, and going to possibly be my costar and it’s really just a media shitstorm in the making.”

“I guess…” Your voice is slightly cracked, so you swallow again, anxious at the turn of events.

“I don’t know. I just, I’m just not as great as I should be with communication.” He admits.

Breathing deeply once more, you find your wit, “I- I really like you, Chris.” You admit.

His breathing almost imperceptibly stutters, “Really? I mean, I like you too. A lot.”

 

You smile, “I’m glad. I just, if you’re not great at communication, I’m horrible. But- I, well, I should make one thing clear, um, before we leave for the party, I guess.” Chris face seems to become more guarded, and you reflexively search for his hand. “If I- if we- do this. I just want you to know, I’m all in. I mean, I’m not just looking for the short-term. I’m not even looking for long-term I’m looking for-”

“Forever?” He breathes, and you smile, nodding and finally look him straight in the eyes and then he’s crushing you to him in his strong embrace and you revel in his form pressed against you with closed eyes.

“Sorry.” You mumble, and pull yourself away.

“No need, I don’t mind.” Chris reassures you.

“No- I mean,” You blush, and look down again. Chris cups your jaw with a sure hand, and tilts your head up. “You feel like home.” You whisper. Chris eyelids flutter slightly, and you watch, mesmerised before realising he’s crowding closer.

 

Chris presses his forehead against yours, and you finally let your hands travel to where they really want to be, cupping his jawline as he rests his hands on your waist. “Would it be okay-” Chris licks his lips, “if I kissed you now?”

“I’d really like that.” You admit. Chris’ lips are on yours in an instant. Soft and gentle, just moving slightly, and his fingers dig into your skin subtly as your fingers curl over his face affectionately.

“Would it be really terrible of me to ask you if we can stay in-” Your eyes widen in surprise slightly, “-just cuddling, and kissing” He amends, “just to have you to myself?”

“I don’t know that it would bad manners, but I would really like that.” You say and kiss him softly, smiling. “Plus, I think Downey was really rooting for us.” You breathe before he pulls you into his arms again and sits down with your draped over his knees.

“You feel like home too, you know. It, well- you, feel like Christmas” He smiles, and pulls you in for another kiss.

Slowly you find yourself spread into the bed, Chris pressing you into the mattress with his left hip and taking up all of your personal space. You kiss, and kiss, and kiss for hours. Speaking softly between kisses about everything and you comment how nice it is to have a talk about the future so openly. “I think you bring that out in me- honesty, I mean.” Chris says and you smile.

“You make me want to be really open and vulnerable.” You admit, before taking your turn to press him into the mattress and then stroking his face lovingly.

“Chris?” Mmmmhmmm is all you get, his eyes closed as you press light kisses to his eyelids and cheekbones. When you pull back, he blink his eyes open and you get lost in the blue for a while, before finding your train of thought again. “I just want you to know, that beyond all reason or logic, and I don’t expect anything from you at all- and I really hope that you won’t let this change anything, but I-” You stumble over your words, throat suddenly dry. “I _think I’m in love with you._ ” You whisper, pulling back and lying down next to him again. Chris takes a while to absorb that information, before bringing his smiling face to yours again, and you sigh in relief.

“The other day,” He begins, “When we had that small gathering for Holland?” You nod, it had been the first time you and Chris had held a proper conversation. Granted it had been about work, but still… “I thought, later after we talked, just randomly it occurred to me. _I could totally let myself fall in love with this girl right now_. And I didn’t, because I convinced myself that I didn’t know you, that you wouldn’t want to settle down now anyways.” He shakes his head slightly in regret, and you trace a finger along the edge of his jaw. “The point is.” He says with conviction, opening his eyes again, “I think I just fell in love with you.”

 

You smile and pull him down again, finally drawing him in with a slight flick of your tongue and taking everything to a new height. He mumbles something and you allow him to pull back with a questioning look. “I’m not saying we should take it slow, per se, in fact, I’d rather keep this pace going, but I think we should just turn down the heat, just for now. You nod and kiss his nose with a smile and he laughs slightly. Eventually, you’re curled up in his arms, his neck and head resting comfortably on all of your pillows as you drag a blanket closer with your foot and lay it over you both. He kicks his shoes off after asking permission, and then you just spend the night talking in each other's arms. “I love you.” You whisper, clutching his hand.

He squeezes your hand, “I love you too.” Before kissing your head gently before his breathing starts to deepen. Your hand stays intertwined with his for the rest of the night as you nod off to sleep.

 

When you wake up, it’s with a slight panic rising in your chest and you bolt upwards only to be held in place with an arm, and then you remember vaguely. Chris pulling you closer in the middle of the night and insisting you sleep on top of him before curling his other arm around your waist and holding you fast. You take stock of your surroundings and realise it’s still twilight hours, hours you haven’t lived in days. Chris' hands fall slack around you as he stirs, and you quickly hop off to the bathroom and check the date. October the 5th, and breathe a sigh of relief. “Good morning, love.” Chris murmurs and draws you close when you come back to bed.

“Good morning, Chris.” You say and kiss him gently. He groans slightly and you allow him to stretch, before spreading the pillows out more evenly and falling back asleep, still intertwined, next to each other.

 

It takes a few days until you finally wake up without panic building in your chest, and it’s that day that Chris finally asks you what’s wrong and you actually tell him. He still believes you, although he does insist on going to his therapist back in Boston if you’d be comfortable with that. You agree it’s a good decision, and make the appointment immediately before signing the contract from Kevin. Downey comes down to sign with a smug and knowing grin, and you nod to him in thanks as Chris holds you close. Chris was set to go back home days ago, but instead insisted on spending more time with you, which he doesn’t regret, but when you finally wrap up he can’t deny he’s relieved to finally be heading to Boston. Of course now, instead of visiting, you actually move in and although most of everyone you know think it’s too soon, you both respond the same way. “When you know, you know.” With a shrug and a loving glance to your other half.


End file.
